Your dream vacation awaits you in the "other" Alberta. While most tourists know Alberta for its rodeos and mountain views, new oilier destinations are expanding now. Come frolic on the black sand beaches! Paraglide the methane gas updrafts over tailing ponds the size of 12,000 football fields! Try your hand at water diversion surfing!

Every four years or so the hen house at Lake Pottahwuattabe hosts an
open house for its stockholders' annual general meeting.
One year some animal rights' activists disrupted the proceedings and
in the ensuing mischief ................

Comparable to carbon offsetting (and making just as much sense), Cheat Neutral provides a framework for you to offset unavoidable cheating on your partner.

"Cheatneutral offsets your cheating by funding someone else to be faithful and NOT cheat. This neutralises the pain and unhappy emotion [you cause] and leaves you with a clear conscience."

We, Anarchists residing in the Eugene/Springfield area are endorsing Jim Torrey for Mayor of Eugene in the 2008 election. We hold that a Torrey regime would be sufficiently brutal and unresponsive to drive hordes of otherwise apathetic citizens to our cause. To this end we have resurrected Eugene Anarchists for Torrey (EAT).

As friends leave her state-subsidized seniors’ building, “Goodbye for now” becomes goodbye forever. Afraid to die alone, Zophia Žvirgzdas hunts for the perfect gay grandson. Can a topless walkathon, a marriage proposal, or the misadventures of a seeing-eye monkey distract her from her pursuit of progeny? Will the Angel of Death convince her that life is for the living – before it’s too late?

Brasscheck TV

[Forward by Joan Malerich]

CNN has Norman Solomon on to talk about the vices of GE-owned NBC. But, Solomon doesn't stop with NBC, he heads on to ABC and eventually hangs out CNN's dirty laundry.

Anarchist action figures were discretely placed on store shelves at Target and Wal-Mart stores across San Francisco, waiting for unsuspecting consumers to pick them up this holiday season.

[Thanks to the anonymous person who posted this. You made my day! -ron]

This is a special edition of these nominations. They all have to do with religion...Here, then, are the real Assholes of the Week. Amen.

Top 10 reasons B.C. MLA's deserve a 29 per cent pay raise and average of $800,000 in retroactive pension benefits.

Robert Newman: History of OilRobert Newman gets to grips with the wars and politics of the last hundred years - but rather than adhering to the history we were fed at school, the places oil centre stage as the cause of all commotion.

This innovative history programme is based around Robert Newman's stand-up act and supported by resourceful archive sequences and stills with satirical impersonations of historical figures from Mayan priests to Archduke Ferdinand. Quirky details such as a bicycle powered street lamp on the stage brings home the pertinent question of just how we are going to survive when the world's oil supplies are finally exhausted.

Highly recommended!

ONCE UPON A TIME, there was a cloud who was very tiny and very lonely and used to stray far from the big clouds. She was very little, barely a wisp of a cloud. And whenever the big clouds made themselves rain so as to paint the mountains green, the little cloud would come flying to offer her services. But they scorned her because she was so small.

Lazlo sent a letter to the head of the Mobile Oil Company, Mr. Warner, in 1974: “Dear Mr. Warner, Jr., I would like you to know that many Americans appreciate all the oil companies have done for this country and want you to know that just because the press plays up people complaining, a lot of people know the oil crisis is not your fault any more than it is our President’s. There just isn’t enough oil, why can’t people just understand that? Don’t be discouraged, the American people will someday see that you were telling the truth! God bless your people all over the globe! Stand up for our President!...An American, Lazlo Toth.” Notice that wording – he said the oil crisis was not just the oil industry’s fault but also the President’s fault, yet Mobile Oil wrote him back. Mobile Oil’s response dated Feb. 28, 1974, says, “Dear Mr. Toth, Mr. Warner asked me to thank you for your very gracious note of February 15. With all the criticism we have been receiving lately from some areas of the public, the press, and the government, it is nice to know that we have support from people like yourself. Thank you again for writing.” Wow, is about all I can say. Lazlo Toth is a damned genius. That was 30 years ago, but it is amazing how current that correspondence sounds.

captain planet & burning suv

Earth Liberation Front (E.L.F.) leader 'Captain Planet' led an attack on a car dealership in Seattle last week which claimed the lives of 15 innocent SUV's.

In an effort to bring gender equity to the sports arena, Seattle taxpayers recently funded a new $500 million dollar Women’s Sports Arena. The arena will have a capacity for 67,000 fans... The venue will also have an adjoined Exhibition Center highlighting women’s sports, costing another $70 million. [...N]ot only do they have male “Sea Guy” cheerleader squads scantily clad at each event, but this year, there is a new 2004 Junior Sea Guy Program, for boys aged 7-14 to participate in the areas of dance, cheer, teamwork, physical well being and self esteem....

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing was moving.

Suddenly a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened?"

Terrorists have kidnapped Paul Martin, Stephen Harper, Jack Layton & Gilles Duceppe. They are asking for a $10 million ransom. Otherwise they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We
are going from car to car, taking up a collection."